


Holding onto a Memory

by thisuserhasleftthechat (justapasserbyhere)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, Gen, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 20:02:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19012894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justapasserbyhere/pseuds/thisuserhasleftthechat
Summary: Magnus and Alec deal with losing Clary in different ways.





	Holding onto a Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for this prompt:
> 
> Pick two distinct characters. Have them look at the same person, experience the same situation, or view the same object.
> 
> Show us how these two distinct characters view this differently. What is one noticing that the other one is missing? Are they focusing on different details?
> 
> Write either from each of their POVs, or find another way to complete the challenge.
> 
> I saw there was a prompt contest in my writing group and had this idea form. Just a drabble that I thought would be interesting to write. Hope you enjoy.

It was a chilly, winter day. Magnus was waiting outside of an antiquities shop while Alec questioned the owner about a relic they may have procured. Alec had asked him to stand guard while he talked to the man, and he was beginning fall victim to boredom.

He scuffed his shoes against the ground as he paced back and forth in front of the door, when a melodious laugh from across the street caught his attention. He looked up at the sound, knowing it very well. Gazing across the busy street, he spotted Clary laughing with a group of young college students.

In the melancholy and bitterness of winter, she stood there vibrantly as if she was a source of warmth. Her bright red hair clashed against the blandness around them, and her laughing was as crisp as it had been before she had been taken away.

Magnus looked at her with a distant expression. She was all he had left of his dear friend Jocelyn, and he could never talk with her again. He could remember so clearly how she would run to him when she was younger, begging him for piggyback rides. 

He'd carry her all around her yard, before letting her down in a grand flourish that would make her yelp and giggle. He'd braid her hair as her Mom brought her to see him again and again, hoping it would give her joy before he ripped her memories away once more.

He still wondered if he had done the right thing, taking her memories to protect her. Though it didn't matter any longer. She'd never be a part of the shadow world again. She'd never be apart of his life again.

He could only watch as she lived joyously away from him and all the dangers that came with being involved with Shadowhunters and Downworlders. Although they'd been her family, at least now she was safe. He'd never have to worry about her safety ever again.

He looked over to her again and smiled sadly as she laughed at a joke and her smile radiated. He continued to watch for a few more seconds before deciding it was too hard. As he turned around he heard the shop door opening and turned to it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Alec asked as he stepped out of the door, looking worried. Magnus didn't know what he was talking about, when he reached up to his face and realized he'd been crying.

"Alec..." Magnus said as he moved forward and let his head fall to Alec's chest, his hands gripping in his jacket. He felt arms weave around him, and not a word was spoken. 

Alec was looking past him and he was sure he had spotted Clary when he felt his grip tighten. Clary and him hadn't always gotten along, but he knew deep down Alec cared for her.

***

Alec held Magnus as he stared forward, his eyes catching the bright hair of Clary. She looked happy from what he could tell, and was smiling as she gesticulated wildly. He remembered one time when she had gestured so abruptly her arm hit Simon in the face.

It had made him chuckle, and she'd apologized profusely for several minutes until Simon finally assured her he was okay. He hadn't always liked Clary, but she always had the best of intentions. She was always putting herself on the line for others, and he related to that selflessness.

He didn't know how to feel now that she'd never be in his life again. She'd become like family, but her selfless actions often put his actual family in terrible danger and jeopardy. Yet, without her, Jace would be dead.

That thought chilled him to the bone, and made him think of everything else she did for him. Without her the whole world would have ended, and he might've never met Magnus. 

Still, he didn't know how to feel about the situation. He felt sadness for Jace and Magnus, who loved Clary dearly. But he had never grown to love her like that, he didn't have time.

He'd spent so much time jealous and envious of her, that by the time he finally came to respect her she was gone. Now he'd never know what kind of friendship they could've had, and it left him feeling frustrated.

Despite all her misgivings, she had done everything she could to help him and his family, and he'd be eternally grateful for that. 

He held Magnus close as he watched her leave and disappear within the crowd, wondering if he'd ever see her again. "She'll always love you, even if she doesn't remember," he whispered as he brushed his hand through his hair. Magnus looked up at him at that. 

"And she'll always love you as well, Alexander," he murmured before leaning into him once again. Alec clenched his hands at that, and felt a sharp prickle prod at his eyes. He went to say something before he closed his mouth, voice leaving him as he shook lightly.

He pulled Magnus in closer as his memories reminded him of the times Clary had made smile. His hands gripped onto Magnus' shoulders as he finally felt  _something._ "I think I miss her," he muttered quietly as his gaze wandered around, lost. Magnus cupped his face gently, looking forlorn, as he painstakingly realized he would never be a part of her life again.

***

A few months had passed, and Magnus was on his way to a cafe to meet up with Alec. He found himself enveloped in the spring air, and smiled widely as the sun warmed his skin. He walked slow enjoying the moment, and closed his eyes to soak everything in.

When he opened his eyes he suddenly stopped, as he saw someone familiar in front of the cafe. It was Clary. She'd cut her hair, and was smiling warmly as she met up with a friend. Magnus went to turn around when Clary looked up at him. 

"Magnus?" She inquired and he felt frozen in place. He remained still as she broke out in a run before lunging herself into his arms. "I can't believe it's you," she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Clary?" Magnus croaked, voice breaking, "I thought I'd never be near you again." "I'm back," Clary cried as she hugged onto Magnus tighter. 

They went into the cafe to sit down, and Clary regaled him with everything she'd done in the past year. Magnus smiled as she told him all about her journey through art school, but frowned as she relayed how lonely she had been.

"It always felt like something was missing," she said as she gripped Magnus' hand, "But then one day my memories just started to return and- now I'm here." 

"I'm not going anywhere ever again," Magnus affirmed as he looked her in the eyes, "You're a part of our family, and no amount of consequences could keep us apart." 

"Magnus..." Clary said as her voiced cracked, tears slipping. "It's okay," he soothed as he wiped away her tears, "everything's okay now."

***

Alec was running late, practically sprinting as he tried to get to the cafe sooner. He'd gotten caught up in an important meeting, and it had lasted way longer than he thought it would. As he walked up to the cafe, he bent over and caught his breath.

When he opened the door he was surprised to see Magnus with someone else, when he realized who it was. He stared at Clary, unable to move. Unsure of how to feel again. When he saw Magnus look up, and motion for him to come over. 

He walked over very slowly, so confused about so many things. When he finally reached them, he stared at Clary, unable to form any questions. She stared back, and silence filled the table.

"Alec, uh-" she started awkwardly before shrugging her shoulders, "I'm back." Alec nodded in response. 

"Good to have you back," he responded, voice level. Magnus gave him a look. "Well if you'd excuse us, we have plans," he said as he quickly looked away. 

"Oh-," Clary muttered as she looked at him surprised, "Yeah I- you're right. I should go." Alec watched as she hurriedly gathered her stuff, before getting up and starting to leave. As she walked away she looked back with a frown and said, "See yah Alec." 

Alec stood dumbfounded, when he looked down at Magnus who looked disappointed. He turned back to Clary to see she was leaving, and he remembered how he felt when he thought he'd never see her again.

"Clary...wait," Alec voiced as walked over to her, grabbing her arm gently in his hand. She turned to him with a shocked expression, brows furrowed.

"I forgot to tell you something," he said as he pulled her into a gentle hug, "welcome back to the family."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I wrote this after staying up all night and not sleeping at all so I may revise it later. Hope you enjoyed regardless!


End file.
